yes, I did it!!!

Yep, so the "keeping fingers crossed" worked and here I am blogging before dec'08...I am damm kicked, no doubt about it...to be honest, i wanted to blog earlier but just didnt get the time. So, unlike last year, this year I've decided that if I want time, I need to make time. If "making time" involves cutting short my sleep by 1-2 hrs, then so be it. The first few weeks of this year have been very good for me -> didn't slack off on the relationship/spiritual aspect (an area that I really wanted to improve on this year), work has been good (read as -> really busy, but exciting nonetheless), and I've taken my extrovert nature to new heights :) (and i feel really proud, happy and most importantly, self-satisfied)...

I somehow feel that after numerous trial and errors, I've inched a step towards figuring out the "secret sauce" to "contentment". My definition of contentment -> continuing with our "mundane" daily chores and at the same time, working towards achieving the "I am answerable to people who are stakeholders in improving me"...I know, i know it is a very vague definition. okie, let me take another shot at defining contentment -> "finding that perfect balance between living for myself and living for those around me"...this is a much better one, dont u agree??? I will give the latter definition a score of 7/10, the former one would probably get a 3/10 (resembles my sanskrit score ...


[Digression:
background on my sanskrit proficiency ->after moving back to Calcutta to finish my school, I had to take a third language. My school had two options - bengali or sanskrit.. and i chose sanskrit (thinking it wud be a piece of cake since the script is similar to hindi..)..whattay blunder :( ]

it is strange that change occurs when it is due -> i mean till about 6 months ago, I "flaunted" this idealistic "i dont care a damm about what others think of me , come what may - I will speak my mind"..I carried this attitude with me all the time, i used this on everyone, people i knew really well and people I knew for hardly 10 mins. Objectively speaking, there is nothing wrong with it.
I mean the least I can do is be honest right? But then, as it is said, the outcome is as important as the processes adopted/methods used to achieve that outcome...In my context, it meant delivering the same message but in a more prudent/less incisive way...As for instance, if ur friend (male) wears pink colored havaii chappal, and u dont approve of it, then there are two ways to deliver that message :-
1) The "Anil six months ago" way -> dude, ur taste sucks...i'd rather be dead than be caught in pink colored havaii chappal...
2) the "Anil now" way -> dude, I am sure that either this was the only color havaii chappal available in ur size or maybe it was being sold for 90% off!!!

same message, but delivered in a less incisive way...

i dont know when this change occurred in me, but I am proud that this change occurred...

Sensitization to your surroundings is very crucial in achieving "contentment"... Oh, sensitization reminds me of one more issue -> if we don't know a person/are in the process of knowing a person, then the least we can do is be judgmental about him/her. everyone of us is unique, no two persons are alike ( and this is what makes life so blessed, and one of the key reasons why I love making friends/meeting new and interesting people)...

If we don't know someone, then we should just shut up and not pass any comments when we hear about his/her actions...Somehow, some people just dont get this!!! If we know someone and that person doesn't figure in your close circle, then i think it is better to not be judgmental. Yes, this stance is arguable...But my line of defense -> If he/she doesnt figure in your close circle, then u don't KNOW the person...

Now, the third case -> when we are trying to know someone. If you are trying to know someone (friendship/potential life partner/colleague/boss/new "inorganic" relative in your family), then it is absolutely essential to hear him/her out. I know we are all constrained for time and it is only natural that we try to derive our impression based on as much information that we can collect in as little time as possible. And this works well when are trying to use that "impression" on inanimate objects (i apologize for a lack of better phrase)...But for god's sake, we are dealing with fellow humans. Humans can and do make mistakes.. In the early phases of knowing someone, it is absolutely very very crucial to give the person the benefit of the doubt if u think that he/she "screwed" up. Who knows -> maybe it was an unintentional "screw up". I am not advocating that we should forget this "screw up", we should definitely keep it at the back of our mind. If the "screw up" is repeated, then yes, we have absolutely every right to go ahead and make our judgment. Patience and time is key...coz only time and patience will reveal if there are other positive traits in him/her that, in the larger scheme of things, will whitewash the "screw up"... I know I sound kind of frustrated. But this "make ur judgment as soon as possible" is a sure shot recipe for disaster. I will be honest -> I've been at the receiving end of this, people I know have been at the receiving end of this...Sometimes, it makes me wonder if i should adopt the same tactic, my very "weak" line of defense -> if the connection was not immediately evident, then it is not worth pursuing. But then, luckily enough, I've not given in to societal pressure. This "if everyone does it, then it makes sense that I should follow suit" will dilute my individualism. I have 27 yrs of life behind me, and life has taught me so much -> i am not going to give up on my learnings...sounds way too idealistic right -> kya karoon yaar...kabhi kabhi zindagi apne terms pe jeena koi galat baat hai kya???

Moving on -> Compared with last year, I've been in touch with my family on a more frequent basis this year. .One of my new year rsolutions -> give ur family a call atleast once a week, max. at least once in two weeks...even a 5min "hi, how r u, everything ok?" conversation is enough....I am sure all of us owe that to our families. Yes, here we are in a foreign country, pursuing "material" goals, but lets not forget who made us what we r today...! aaha one more thought - giving back to society...

I am absolutely sold to this -> only when u give back to society, the society will give u more...

[ Digression again :
i've had the good luck of meeting Mr. Jon M. Huntsman (chairman of Huntsmman corporation) when I was in school in Utah. My boss (for whom i was interning during school) took me to a book-signing charity event . Mr. Huntsman had just released his book "Winners never cheat" and he was there for nearly 4 hrs on a weekday signing his books just for charity. Here is a chairman of a world leading manufacturer of specialized chemicals spending 4 hrs on a weekday, signing books for people and briefly talking to them too. I was just way too excited. When my turn came, he asked me my name and what i was doing. My then boss, Devin Thorpe, is well respected in the utah business circle, and i told Mr. Huntsman "I am in school full-time for my MBA and I work for Devin Thorpe part-time as I really want to pursue ibanking as my career"
He told me "You know you are the second Anil I've met, the other Anil I know is a good friend of mine and he runs a large family business in India" and he smiled at me. Obviously I knew whom he was referring to, but at the same time I was sooo flattered by his humility, he didnt throw names around... To be sooo successful and yet so humble..

I think I have misplaced the book that he signed (i know so careless of me!!) but then I still remember what he wrote in it "Anil , congrats for pursuing your mba and working through school, best of luck in everything you do.. Jon M. Huntsman"...

Let me tell u - the book is well worth a read...some of u might think that the book is way too idealistic. But then, Huntsman made money by following the same ideals that he preached in this book...so, if he can make money, why cant we???...He also talks about doing business ethically and most importantly (the reason why I bought this topic up) -> Give back to ur society!!! ]

giving back to society doesn't necessarily mean donating cash/kind to other not-for-profits out there.. we need to "add value" to our giving.. this could be sponsoring your college technical symposium (money), volunteering for nearby social activity, as in Tata's case - making a Rs 1 lakh car, etc. etc. You get the message. I will be honest, I have not been very consistent in this effort. But then, I realize that i need to do this and this realization is enough to make a difference. It does not have to be a very conscious effort. If the realization is there, then the action will be spontaneous. As for instance, one fine day you might just go out of your way to help someone achieve something.. It is not that u started the day with the intention to do so, it just happened...and it just happened coz the realization to give back to society is deeply ingrained within u. I hope (and I pray) that I am more consistent and I will try my best. Aah one more thing to improve upon...So many things to work on, so much to achieve, wish we had more than 24 hrs in a day, 7 days in a week and 52 weeks in a year!!!...If i achieve/improve upon even 5% of my "list", i will have moved a step closer towards "contentment"...

Anyways, more later. I can go on and on...but then, i have to return to my "mundane" life tomorrow morning and I need some sleep to be energized enough to at least execute the "mundane" life to perfection :)....

Best,
me!!!

p.s. : will reduce the p.s. stuff...I've been told that it is very annoying to have p.s. so often in my written communication...:)